Help for men’s depression. 

In this article, I will share the things that worked for me in overcoming depression.  

There are 6 main things that made a difference for me.

Proper sleep.

Eating good, clean food.

Movement, exercise and yoga.

Reading and writing.

Smile and laughter.

Talking to other men about my depression.

These things might seem pretty basic, but let me explain why they are all so important, and I don’t think you can pick and choose. This is about taking care of yourself.  What I will say is when you are depressed, these seem like mountains to climb! SO, read them all, but the last one is where you can gain strength to climb those mountains! You can do this! 

Proper sleep helps cope with depression.

I have seen some people think they can sleep 5 hours and be fine.  For me, it’s 9 hours of QUALITY SLEEP.   If I do not get enough sleep I spiral, and it’s hard to recover from once I get into a sleep deficit.  

In order to have a good sleep you should consider the following things. 

No screens for the hour leading up to bedtime.

No food for 2 hours before bedtime.

No alcohol for 2 hours before bed. (better yet, no alcohol at all)

Cool , dark room. 

Many people, including myself, can have racing thoughts before bed, your mind trying to process your day.  It can be very hard on your sleep. What you think about in the 5 min before falling asleep in what you subconscious will stew on. You can make a choice to consume other thoughts beside the ones you are used to! Here is a link to a short audio file you can try right before bed.  It works!

Eating good, clean food is important to overcoming depression.

This seems very obvious, just like getting good sleep but when you get depressed, it can be comforting to eat food that is NOT good for you. It releases feel good brain chemicals, but this is when you need to double down and find healthy ways to break the addictive loop your brain gets in. Fuelling with healthy foods will 100% make a difference.  The first week could be challenging as you break old junk food habits.  

Here is what I suggest for a basic way to eat.  Not a diet, because that doesn’t work from my experience. This is a lifestyle way of eating. It’s a choice, and it takes some effort. 

Consider doing 14 hour fasts.  That looks like stopping eating at 8pm, bedtime at 10, wake up at 6 or 7am, don’t eat til 10am. “But I have to go to work” I hear you say. Yes, I understand, so do this.  Have your AM coffee, let your stomach growl at you. Make something you take to work to eat at 10! Trust me, your energy will go up, not fade.  Commit to a week before you pass judgement on this. 

Clean food is defined as something you actually prepare, not just heat up.  Think of single ingredients. Fruits, vegetables, rice, beans, beef.  Not out of a can, jar or box.  Yes, you have to actually cook, but again, try it a week and I promise you will start to feel better. 

Movement, exercise and yoga helps depression. 

Another obvious one, and there have been times during a depression I just want to stay in bed all day, and sometimes I did.  But, that sint good for us all the time.  I got outside on my bike even when I didn’t feel like it, and it usually helped turn around my mood for the day.  A walk around the block is a start.  Raiding your heart rate higher is also helpful for your feel good hormones and brain chemicals.  Lift weights, run, play your team sport. 

One thing I avoided your years was yoga.  Then when I went I realized just how great it was for me! You can find many routines on youtube for men specifically that can get you moving, breathing and stretching. Make sure to give it a solid week as well before passing judgement. 

Reading and writing is a good way to combat depression.

You might be saying, “I don’t write”. Ok, I get it but bare with me as this is one of the most fundamental secret, free, helpful things out there.  

Go to the dollar store and grab a cheap notebook.  Write the date on the top of a page and just write. There is no right why to do this. Personal story time.  When I started writing years ago, it was absolute chaos on a page.  And, its exactly what I needed.  This is a way to get the many thoughts out of your head an on a page. Its therapeutic. Don’t think about it, just let the words come out, they do not need to make any sense at all!

Reading is an amazing way to shift your mindset from depression to something new.  For me, I have had great results in some easy to digest self help books, but also fiction helps me shift my dark thoughts.  One book I call my bible is “the power of now” by Echart Tolle. I have read it about 10 times in my darkest of days. It offers a different take on life, and what you are experiencing that really helped me personally.  There are lots of books out there, go with one that “calls to you”. 

Smiling and laughing helps depression.

This might sound totally ridiculous to you when you are depressed.  You feel bad, in a hole like you can’t get out.  I know, I have been there. Try this. Put on something on the tv that has made you laugh in the past.  Watch it everyday. Or, explore new comedy shows, funny movies and shows.  

Smiling is easier on your face them frowning.  Sound kinda weird? Let me tell you a personal story on this. 

People used to ask me all the time “whats wrong?” and I would reply, nothing. You know why the asked? The look on my face, and that hit me pretty hard.  I want to acknowledge, when you feel depressed, you feel low. A smile might seem impossible, but allow yourself to find moments to find a reason to smile.  Another personal story.  The other day I was grumpy and kind of frustrated.  My girlfriend sent me a text that got a grin, and I LET myself grin instead of staying in my grumpiness. 

Smiling can help shift you from depressed to something better. 

Talking to other men about my struggles with depression helped.

You sir, are not alone no matter how alone you feel right now.  Most, if not all men no matter how tough they seem have felt depressed. It doesn’t mean anything about your personal worth, in fact, welcome to being a human being. Depression is the ebb and flow of life.  

Find yourself some good men to share with. There are 2 different ways I suggest. 

The first one is people close to you.  Use these words to start the conversation. “Bob, do you have a few minutes to listen to something I am dealing with?”  Sounds hard? I know.  But think about this, if bob said that to you, wouldn’t you drop everything to listen to him? I know you would.  Then, say something like this “ Bob, I am really struggling right now, and I just need someone to listen to me. I feel weak coming to you, but I need help man.”  You can do this man, and I know for a fact Bob wants to help you. 

Second is this, find a men’s group. WTF is a men’s group?  I wrote about it here.  There are different types, but they are generally where men support men. Where you can go for support.  

Depression is real, and part of life that you can overcome with strength of human spirit.

You are not less than for being in a depression.  It can be hard to see that when you are in it.  I have experiences that we as humans have an extremely strong spirit, and it’s in these times if you can rely on that, you can make your body and mind do the things above so you can move how you feel and get out of the depression. 

None of these suggestions that I have personally used are a substitute for professional help. Sometimes that’s exactly what you need so make sure to seek it out if you think you need to.