As a man, your masculine power in relationships comes directly from embracing that you in fact do have feminine traits. Denying your feminine(emotional) side is holding you back from accessing your true masculine power.
No woman that wants to be primarily in her feminine essence will show that to you unless you know how to embrace your inner feminine…….first. She will not truly soften into her feminine if she does not see you have done the work to embrace and nurture your inner feminine. She will feel it. There is simply no way to spiritually bypass this one inf you want a polarized relationship.
A man that does this work has a trust in himself and his ability to navigate his emotions that she can sense in his steadiness. This type of man has learned his internal emotional landscape and healed his feminine wounding, and that is a man that a woman will open her heart and pussy too. This man, that has become so intimate with his own feminine side is a man that can be incredibly connected and intimate with his feminine partner while remaining in his masculine core. Polarity. But this is directly because he does not try to fulfill his emotional needs through her.
A man’s masculine presence is directly tied to how connected he is to his emotions( feminine traits). Denying it repels the divine feminine in your woman and you will never receive her divine gifts, the very thing mean crave from women.
Being a man is not simple. Society’s message is confusing and pushes men to be too hard or too soft, but as with many things in life, the balance is where the true power is.
Admitting you have a feminine side is not emasculating. It’s empowering. It will make you MORE masculine to accept ALL sides of yourself. If you choose to ignore this side of yourself, you will never have the relationship with your partner that you desire.
She will never fully open up to you. She will keep up a shield to protect her heart because she cannot trust you. She wants to soften to you, but she needs to see you manage your wounding, your emotions.
As you connect with your heart and provide a steady emotional space for her, she will blossom into her divine feminine as her heart yearns to do.
If you take the time to heal this part of yourself as a man, your romantic relationships will improve.
Your mom is not here, your partner is not responsible to tiptoe around your inability to hold your own emotions and heart. You’re a grown-ass man and no one is coming to help you navigate your emotions, that’s on you to learn how to do.
YOU CAN do it, seek the mentors (men) to teach you.
I was scared shitless when I first heard this term.
I didn’t know how to interpret it. It made me feel like my intent didn’t matter.
I felt that if my words hurt you, you need to own your feelings around that because It meant more that I didn’t mean to hurt you vs the reality that I did hurt you.
I was triggered, I felt like I was being accused of something that I didn’t do.
And yet somehow I knew this was important to explore. That was 8 months ago, and I think I finally understand.
Men need to know this, it’s a common belief when we relate and communicate with women.
We do not get a free pass to hurt our woman’s feelings because “that’s not what we meant”.
So, who can say they have never got defensive, and do what they can to justify what they said, and maybe even argue why she should not feel hurt?
I have tried to defend. And in fact, probably gaslight a woman for feeling the way she did. I was operating from a wounded boy place, not a grounded, loving man. This has been a hard lesson for me, as I have always felt like a very caring man. While that may have been true, I was also not owning how my words or actions hurt the women in my life.
A scared, emotionally immature 12 year old boy showed up and tried to show her why that wasn’t the case, why I didn’t mean to hurt her. Hindsight, she knew I was not trying to hurt her. She wanted to be validated in that in fact she was hurt by my words or actions.
Let’s break down what was going on internally for me, and a lot of men in this situation. We feel that if it’s my fault she is hurt, she will leave. Perhaps we feel it means we are a bad person. Maybe we think they will leave if we don’t convince them we are actually good. Insert your story here ________.
Being a human can be messy at times. One attribute that men( and women but I am speaking to men) have is trying to control. If we have hurt our woman, that means we lost control, and the defensive behaviour, trying to show here that’s not what we meant means we lost control, and that can feel like it knocks us off balance.
One of our jobs as men is to be grounded AF, which if we are, allows us to see this impact vs intent subject from a heart-centered place, and hold our own hearts and triggers from our old wounds and stories first so that we can, in turn, hold our partner’s hearts in the times we hurt her.
Why is this important? Because we need to be able to see what our woman needs from us at that moment. A heartfelt apology for hurting her, learning not to repeat the behavior that led to hurting her, and reconnecting with her heart is what she needs from you.
She knows you didn’t mean to hurt her (and if you did, you have a whole other set of issues you need to look at) and she wants to feel safe in your relationship container again. She is telling you you hurt her because she WANTS to reconnect.
So, do the work to take care of your own triggers so you can be in your heart when she brings how you impacted her to you.
